Seeking - Tarry There

Sometimes things can get turned around.

I went into my garden one day last summer to take a little break. My plan was to just enjoy the beauty and seek a midday recalibration, but I was distracted by the weeds. The summer’s heat had discouraged me from weeding, and they were everywhere!!

The following Saturday morning it was cloudy and cooler, so I went out to pull up those weeds. Only I was distracted by the beauty. That day, the colors, the textures, and the light captured my attention, so I wasn’t concerned about the weeds.

My perspective can fluctuate and it seems there’s no apparent reason.

Does this happen to you?

Neither perspective was necessarily off, just different. Both were profitable in their own way and both something to engage with, or more specifically to referee, in hopes of attaining the goal of a sweet place of respite.

I’m thinking this is true of something else I’ve had on my mind lately. It’s in regard to my last post where I shared a favorite quote by A. W. Tozer:

“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”

This quote prompts me to ask, “What does come to mind when I’m thinking of You, Lord?” It rallies me, drawing me back to truth. It helps me review the truth of Him, to realign. It can lead me to praise or to a time of confession.

On the other hand, however, I found I wanted to put a different twist on Tozer’s quote, another perspective I wanted to express.

What comes to God’s mind when He thinks about us is the most important thing about us.

At first, I thought these two perspectives were opposites. But after further consideration, I realize they are closely related, all bound up in one another really. Here’s what I mean. When I think of God I often do it in light of my understanding of His inclination toward me. It follows that if my perspective is off regarding His disposition towards me, then I’m off in what I presume about Him. And further, when I’m off in what I think of Him, then I misapprehend what He thinks about me.

This alternative perspective came to mind because fathoming what He thinks of me has been at the forefront of my own faith focus for some time. I had a large need to know, given that for me, believing the good news of the gospel did not automatically translate into understanding and experiencing His love. I suffered from what some have called an “orphan heart,” meaning I struggled to fathom His love, to latch onto it in terms of what it means as I’m living in relationship with Him. Not having the awareness that I was dearly loved, I couldn’t conjure up a sense of belonging. This manifested especially as suspicion or doubt about His disposition toward me, so I would unwittingly strive in order to establish some connection and gain a sense of His favor.

Since we think of the face when discerning someone’s disposition toward us, I wondered what I’d see on His metaphorical face. What would be in His eyes? How is He listening? What would be the tone of His voice? What would His demeanor tell me about His secret thoughts toward me?

I expected disappointment and displeasure…I often felt condemnation, and imagined it in all His countenance, His eyes, and in His voice.

But, gaze by gaze, something has changed…something is changing.

Believing and yielding to the truth of what He thinks of me has been life-altering. Surrendering to the truth that as His child I am dearly loved—His own, His beloved, cherished and precious in His sight, is reshaping me; to receive that I am treasured and He takes delight in me as a daughter of the King is regenerating me; He has chosen me, wooed me, tended me—I am banqueted! I claim these expressions from His word and hold them tightly (see the end of my post for references from His love letter).

He restores my soul as I confess with Him, “Lord, You do think of me, more thoughts than can be numbered! I am Your own workmanship, like a poem You’ve poured over or a masterpiece. You knew me before I was substance, and have intricately designed me, forming my inmost being. You see me and hear me, listening attentively and searching my heart and my thoughts. You desire my presence, Christ having made a way for me to be with You forever. There is no condemnation! You take delight in me and rejoice over me with loud singing! It’s Your desire that I know You, that I seek Your face” (more references below).

Though I once feared God’s favor was far-fetched and that it was presumptuous to think He looked on me with affection, He has convinced me there is more danger in underestimating His joy in me than in overestimating it. I say danger because many responses I’ve had to Him which were amiss had one thing in common—my lack of clarity and belief in what His gaze held for me. I want to fathom His thoughts because whatever it is He’s thinking, it’s true. I learn more of who I am and who I am becoming by studying how He sees me, for my identity is bound up in His gaze.

Our identity is bound up in His gaze.

Did healing from this orphan-like mindset begin when I embarked on a search to find out what He thinks of when He thinks of me? I believe it began when He gave me the desire to know what He thinks. This quest, my longing, was His gift of love.

Knowing more of His heart for me, I can now imagine He’s cheering me on—one of the ways the face of love manifests itself! I unwrapped His gift by seeking Him—seeking Him, directly in His word and letting Him speak intimately to me there. Bounded by His word, God has unveiled His love through other means—good books, wise counsel, writing, artful creativity, and the safe love of others. His Spirit wooing me, increasingly I’m allowing myself to be loved, acquiescing to His promise that it will never be removed. (Romans 8:35)

I look ahead, expecting to seek His face as my lifelong pursuit. Will you join me? Like pulling weeds, let’s fling aside all hindrances to see His gaze clearly and receive His unfailing love that’s like mercy flowing new every morning, or grace that arrives when its day comes.

Surrendering to these: Isaiah 43:1; Colossians 3:12; Song of Solomon 6:3; Ephesians 5:1, 29-30; 1 Peter 2:9; Isaiah 43:4; Psalm 18:19, 45:9; Ephesians 2:13; Psalm 23:5; Song of Solomon 2:4

Confessing these with Him: Psalm 34:15, 40:5, 139:1,13-16, 100:3; Ephesians 2:10; John 17:24, 3:16; Romans 8:1-2; Zephaniah 3:17; John 17:3; Psalm 27:8

It was the oddest noise.

A few years ago, my husband and I were out for our morning walk and heard a peculiar sound. We stopped to listen and wondered aloud what it could be…the sound was something like a squirrel in distress, and it was difficult to pinpoint its whereabouts.

“Is it over there in the woods?”

“No, it’s over here in this tree!”

“Wait…listen…listen, I think it’s coming from that big bush!”

After a few minutes of this back and forth we moved on. He decided it was a bird. (It didn’t really sound like one.)

Afterwards, to my surprise, I identified it as a Yellow-billed Cuckoo. Cuckoo! I thought Cuckoos were a tropical bird, something exotic, something eccentric. But one is hanging out here in my neighborhood (and if one, probably two). Since then, I’ve heard them all about the neighborhood every summer. Since their song is so distinguishable, I’ve become alert to it and am always trying to spot one. But I haven’t laid eyes on the Yellow-billed Cuckoo yet! They are so elusive!

This photo by Michael Fogleman, shows how this cuckoo got its name. I love those bold spots on the tail feathers!

In all this searching, I’ve realized how helpful it is to have a mental picture of birds’ habits in mind as I try to find them. When I hear a wren’s song, I can imagine it on a branch or ledge that’s usually visible, with its head tilted back, beak in the air, and chest pumping. If I hear a mockingbird, I know to start looking for the high point of a tree or roofline. When I think of Brown Thrashers, I imagine their flight low across our back yard, down in the mulch, or singing from a high point. I find Nuthatches creeping along on outreaching tree limbs or moving about their trunks and Eastern Towhees on the ground under a bush or our feeder.

I realize now that the behaviors and tendencies of many different birds have become familiar to me through listening and observing their habits over time. This familiarity, these bits of knowledge, enables my understanding and delight. Recognizing their voice makes me feel acquainted. Sometimes I feel apprised of their situation by the nature of their call.

When I don’t recognize a call, I don’t know where to look since I don’t have that informed mental picture. Instead of familiarity and corroboration, there’s scrutiny because my mental slate is blank.

Reflecting on this has drawn a parallel for me in thinking of an Other who I’ve never seen. I dare say it’s because of a correlation with one of my favorite quotes.

“What comes to mind when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” A. W. Tozer

Why is this so important?

God’s truth provides context for our lives. Like the habitat of a bird or even the context of a word in a paragraph, He has a surrounding definitive story that gives meaning with which we interpret and respond. Our responses in life are impacted, more than that—they’re governed—by what we think of Him. Maybe it goes further. Could we say our responses are what we think of Him? We interpret the circumstances of our lives based on what we believe about Him, and we respond in fashion.

It’s in the details of our days. What we think of Him is depicted not only in our actions and words, but in our motivations and goals, our thought patterns, our emotions, our longings, and our places of rest. All of these carry the impression of how we receive His love offer and how deeply we trust Him.

1 John 5:20a tells us, “…the Son of God has come and has given us understanding that we may know Him who is true.” This means that we can know Him and that God desires it so much, that he sent His Son for this purpose. Jesus, in praying before being betrayed and taken away says, “And this is eternal life, that they know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent (John 17:3).

Therefore, knowing Him rightly is crucial.

Dear reader, I can almost hear a response, “Yeah, but…” followed by question. Questions from a seeking heart are good! In fact, we can draw on the same questions I had in looking for this unusual bird.

How can I find Him?
What is He like?
How do I recognize His voice; how do I distinguish it in the midst of many?

Exploring these questions might raise others.

Where is he coming from? In Scripture He says some odd things compared to what our human nature or our culture or organized religion would say.
What’s His intention?

As we go into birds’ habitats to seek them out, we can do the same with the Savior, listening intently for Him. His Word is a trustworthy revelation of who He is and His dealings with us, His handiwork. It’s in spending time with Him in His Word, seeking and listening, that we learn who He is, who we are, and how to respond. In this dialogue is where we increasingly comprehend how He knows and loves us and accordingly, learn to know Him and love Him.

In the pursuit of an ever deeper understanding and relational knowledge of Him, our greatest treasure, we begin to sample all the wealth of the storehouses of our inheritance.

Although I haven’t yet seen a Yellow-billed Cuckoo, I look forward with expectancy to seeing him one day. For now, his call validates his presence for me. I recognize his voice and hearing it escalates my desire to see him.

May our hearts yearn within us Lord, to see You with our own eyes, as You are, face to face, and not as a stranger (See Job 19:25-27, 1 Cor. 13:12, 1 John 3:2, Rev. 22:4).

I always enjoy Michael Fogleman’s bird photography on Instagram @michael.fogleman.

Some other compelling Scriptures on this subject of knowing God: 1 Chronicles 28:9 (David to Solomon); Jeremiah 9:23-24 (a word from the Lord to Jeremiah); Ephesians 1:17-18 or Colossians 1:9 (Paul’s prayers for believers); Philippians 3:8-10 (Paul’s personal testimony on what matters); 2 Peter 1:2-8 (Peter to those of faith).

Posts Tagged with Seeking

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