Transformation - Tarry There

Seeking Along the Path – Part II

Posted on March 19, 20262 Comments

Sometimes things can get turned around.

I went into my garden one day last summer to take a little break. My plan was to just enjoy the beauty and seek a midday recalibration, but I was distracted by the weeds. The summer’s heat had discouraged me from weeding, and they were everywhere!!

The following Saturday morning it was cloudy and cooler, so I went out to pull up those weeds. Only I was distracted by the beauty. That day, the colors, the textures, and the light captured my attention, so I wasn’t concerned about the weeds.

My perspective can fluctuate and it seems there’s no apparent reason.

Does this happen to you?

Neither perspective was necessarily off, just different. Both were profitable in their own way and both something to engage with, or more specifically to referee, in hopes of attaining the goal of a sweet place of respite.

I’m thinking this is true of something else I’ve had on my mind lately. It’s in regard to my last post where I shared a favorite quote by A. W. Tozer:

“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”

This quote prompts me to ask, “What does come to mind when I’m thinking of You, Lord?” It rallies me, drawing me back to truth. It helps me review the truth of Him, to realign. It can lead me to praise or to a time of confession.

On the other hand, however, I found I wanted to put a different twist on Tozer’s quote, another perspective I wanted to express.

What comes to God’s mind when He thinks about us is the most important thing about us.

At first, I thought these two perspectives were opposites. But after further consideration, I realize they are closely related, all bound up in one another really. Here’s what I mean. When I think of God I often do it in light of my understanding of His inclination toward me. It follows that if my perspective is off regarding His disposition towards me, then I’m off in what I presume about Him. And further, when I’m off in what I think of Him, then I misapprehend what He thinks about me.

This alternative perspective came to mind because fathoming what He thinks of me has been at the forefront of my own faith focus for some time. I had a large need to know, given that for me, believing the good news of the gospel did not automatically translate into understanding and experiencing His love. I suffered from what some have called an “orphan heart,” meaning I struggled to fathom His love, to latch onto it in terms of what it means as I’m living in relationship with Him. Not having the awareness that I was dearly loved, I couldn’t conjure up a sense of belonging. This manifested especially as suspicion or doubt about His disposition toward me, so I would unwittingly strive in order to establish some connection and gain a sense of His favor.

Since we think of the face when discerning someone’s disposition toward us, I wondered what I’d see on His metaphorical face. What would be in His eyes? How is He listening? What would be the tone of His voice? What would His demeanor tell me about His secret thoughts toward me?

I expected disappointment and displeasure…I often felt condemnation, and imagined it in all His countenance, His eyes, and in His voice.

But, gaze by gaze, something has changed…something is changing.

Believing and yielding to the truth of what He thinks of me has been life-altering. Surrendering to the truth that as His child I am dearly loved—His own, His beloved, cherished and precious in His sight, is reshaping me; to receive that I am treasured and He takes delight in me as a daughter of the King is regenerating me; He has chosen me, wooed me, tended me—I am banqueted! I claim these expressions from His word and hold them tightly (see the end of my post for references from His love letter).

He restores my soul as I confess with Him, “Lord, You do think of me, more thoughts than can be numbered! I am Your own workmanship, like a poem You’ve poured over or a masterpiece. You knew me before I was substance, and have intricately designed me, forming my inmost being. You see me and hear me, listening attentively and searching my heart and my thoughts. You desire my presence, Christ having made a way for me to be with You forever. There is no condemnation! You take delight in me and rejoice over me with loud singing! It’s Your desire that I know You, that I seek Your face” (more references below).

Though I once feared God’s favor was far-fetched and that it was presumptuous to think He looked on me with affection, He has convinced me there is more danger in underestimating His joy in me than in overestimating it. I say danger because many responses I’ve had to Him which were amiss had one thing in common—my lack of clarity and belief in what His gaze held for me. I want to fathom His thoughts because whatever it is He’s thinking, it’s true. I learn more of who I am and who I am becoming by studying how He sees me, for my identity is bound up in His gaze.

Our identity is bound up in His gaze.

Did healing from this orphan-like mindset begin when I embarked on a search to find out what He thinks of when He thinks of me? I believe it began when He gave me the desire to know what He thinks. This quest, my longing, was His gift of love.

Knowing more of His heart for me, I can now imagine He’s cheering me on—one of the ways the face of love manifests itself! I unwrapped His gift by seeking Him—seeking Him, directly in His word and letting Him speak intimately to me there. Bounded by His word, God has unveiled His love through other means—good books, wise counsel, writing, artful creativity, and the safe love of others. His Spirit wooing me, increasingly I’m allowing myself to be loved, acquiescing to His promise that it will never be removed. (Romans 8:35)

I look ahead, expecting to seek His face as my lifelong pursuit. Will you join me? Like pulling weeds, let’s fling aside all hindrances to see His gaze clearly and receive His unfailing love that’s like mercy flowing new every morning, or grace that arrives when its day comes.

Surrendering to these: Isaiah 43:1; Colossians 3:12; Song of Solomon 6:3; Ephesians 5:1, 29-30; 1 Peter 2:9; Isaiah 43:4; Psalm 18:19, 45:9; Ephesians 2:13; Psalm 23:5; Song of Solomon 2:4

Confessing these with Him: Psalm 34:15, 40:5, 139:1,13-16, 100:3; Ephesians 2:10; John 17:24, 3:16; Romans 8:1-2; Zephaniah 3:17; John 17:3; Psalm 27:8

Pruning: A New Perspective

Posted on March 5, 20238 Comments

Winter is beginning to wind down here, and it’s the time when pruning needs to be well underway. The blueberry buds are already emerging! Just a fleeting look at our scraggly shrubs makes it clear they need tending. I actually enjoy pruning…probably because I like things tidied up, and I get the immediate gratification of seeing some improvement in their appearance. It must give me a little boost of serotonin.

I also view it as an artsy endeavor. I’m making something more beautiful in its form and in its ability to produce. But I don’t care much for the weather that accompanies this winter pruning—it’s wet and chilly most days in February. I’ve gotten a start though, taking advantage of the warmer days we’ve had this particular February.

Some years I’ve neglected pruning for one reason or another, but because the results are wonderful when I do prune, I decided to create a calendar to remind me of when our plants need it. Pruning is done in different seasons depending on whether the plant blooms on old growth or new growth. Although many of the basics are the same, there are also some differences in how to prune different plants. After a little research I incorporated some basic instructions in the calendar along with some links. In our yard right now the limelight hydrangea, abelia, holly, ligustrum, rose of Sharon and blueberry plants need pruning. But the gardenia, azalea, Indian hawthorn, camellia, and other hydrangeas should be done in another season. If you aren’t sure about your plants, ask a local nursery or research online.

Another reason I like pruning is because like art, it’s a meditative practice. It’s a deliberate and purposeful process that brings me into the moment. As I was trimming our rose of Sharon a few weeks ago, I imagined the way it was going to look during the summer as a result. I remembered its growth last year and wondered how to remove what was not really needed for how I envision it this year.

I was careful to make diagonal cuts. Is this the right place or should I do it here? How much should I remove on this one? I took out the extraneous branches growing up from the bottom, which were those rubbing against other branches, or crowding them, or just looking unseemly. I evaluated more branches to learn how they had responded to last year’s trimming.

While pruning the limelight hydrangeas, I recalled how the number of branches can impact the size of those big flowers. Fewer branches mean larger flowers. Did I want more blooms and smaller flowers or fewer blooms and larger flowers? How many branches do I need to remove to produce the larger flowered ones?

We have one blueberry bush, and I feel especially tentative about pruning it. I’m concerned I might make it less productive instead of more. Which canes should I remove?

I love the blossoms and the berries! I think I just need more bushes!

As I tended our plants, I came to know them better. Through touching and examining them, surveying their health, seeking out what might interfere with their flourishing, and envisioning their potential growth and beauty, I felt a connection with them as well as a deepened affection.

Handling my plants in this way gave me a new perspective on pruning. I think I understand more clearly how our heavenly Father goes about His pruning in our lives. It also highlighted tendencies and conditions in my life for which pruning is to my profit.

He’s not just cutting away, He’s tending us. Like my hands moving about in the crown of our shrubs, His hands move with care and intention in and throughout our lives. He assesses us affectionately, and with intimate knowledge, He determines how to make us more fruitful and more beautiful. He knows where we’re hardened, the woody old stuff that needs to go. He sees those places in us where there’s a constant rub, a chafing or irritation—those things that open us to attack or distract us from our purpose. He identifies the spindly, non-productive sprouts that crowd out the energy and air that other endeavors need. He finds our sideshoots, those that take away from our beauty and rebel against His design. He tenderly notes where we’ve been injured and where more light needs to penetrate. He discerns the strong healthy branches and knows how to make them more productive (John 15:2).

His pruning will show off His touch in our lives (John 15:8-9).

This lesson in how and why He prunes has been a useful countermeasure in neutralizing the apprehension I felt about “being pruned.” Have you felt that apprehension as well?

What about when He prunes? In her article, “The Gift of Continual Pruning,” Linnea Orians makes a heartening point. She tells about observing the pruning of apple trees on a nearby farm. From her close vantage point, it is apparent that pruning is not just a one time or even occasional event, but a recurring process. She says our “weaknesses have to be revisited and continually cared for.” Yes, under His care it becomes our way of life. Orians continues, “Abiding in him so that he can tend to my imperfections is a gift. There is immense mercy shown in trimming what can be fruitful, instead of disregarding it. It is care to the highest extent.”

I’m grateful for His gift of new perspective (Psalm 16:7-8). He has helped me see my need and focus on His faithful care. His pruning is quite likely an answer to my own prayers (2 Thessalonians 1:11). I am convinced that I prefer He tend rather than neglect—and even in this, a flaw in my thinking has been pruned away.

For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations (Psalm 100:5).

If you enjoyed this post I recommend a previous post, Three Lessons from the Field, which includes other comforting reassurances from Jesus’s metaphor, “You are God’s field (1 Corinthians 3:9).

Reassurance on a Cloudy Day

Posted on April 30, 20222 Comments

Thank you to many dear readers who have reached out to let me know you’ve missed my blog posts! This has been a real encouragement to me as I’ve imagined an end to this unexpected hiatus from the blog. As I pray for direction in writing, your responses are very helpful!

Sometimes, I think I’ve seen everything there is to see on my walk through our neighborhood and wonder if I’ve photographed all the beautiful and interesting finds. A few weeks ago, I discovered again that’s not true. I was walking my preferred route, so I can calculate I’ve walked by this tree for up to twenty spring seasons. This particular day was cloudy, and my eye was drawn to a beautifully bold magenta-pink color. I wasn’t sure what I was seeing—they looked like buds, but they were in the wrong place! Instead of up in the canopy, they were down low in the tree, actually emerging from the largest branches and a few from the trunk.

Were they actually new stems, disease, or maybe some brightly colored glob of mold?

I crept into this neighbor’s yard, tiptoeing onto their property uninvited to get a closer look. Yes, they were flower buds!

The trunk and branches were old and gnarly, and lichens were plastered onto the bark. Scars were visible from the pruning wounds of previous years. Yet the bud clusters were stunningly beautiful and delicate, their color glorious on that cloudy day. I mused, “How could something so fragile burst forth from such a dead-looking, hard, and dried up place?”

Then came a kind and gentle voice.

Yes, I am able. I can bring forth beauty from even the oldest, most crusty and hardened of places.

Oh my – a quiet encounter with wonderful reassurance from my Heavenly Father! In kindness He pulled me aside to illustrate His reminder for that particular day. He’s saying His work, the transformation of my soul, is ongoing. Even though my old nature and my ingrained habits seem so established, my deconstruction is still in progress. He is able (Ephesians 3:20), I can trust Him (Proverbs 3:5-6), and He has beauty in mind.

I’m reminded that in our journey with Christ, He will never stop fashioning His beauty in us until we see Him face to face.

One of my favorite verses comes to mind:

One thing have I asked of the LORD, that I will seek after:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
To gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
And to inquire in His temple.
Psalm 27:4

Second Corinthians 3:18 tells us that “we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

I stalked this Eastern Redbud for several weeks to watch its progress. I had been so surprised by the tree’s beauty and how it arose from an unexpected and odd place. Like the tree, we aren’t disqualified from transformation because of our age or life stage. As we gaze on Him, intently observing His promises and His ways—beholding His glory, He will be reflected more and more in our lives. Though our habits can be hardened into place, our ways of thinking and processing seemingly instinctive, our desires stubbornly planted, He is able to do as He has promised.

I wonder. Are you like me? Do you find the promises and wonderful benefits of being His child too magnificent and manifold to hold in the forefront of your mind? I’m so grateful for the Holy Spirit He has given His children—for His witness to us (John 14:16-17, John 15:26) and His reminders! It is through the Spirit we guard what’s been entrusted to us (2 Timothy 1:14) and it’s though His Spirit we are transformed (2 Corinthians 3:18).

“Lord, thank You for the fresh beauty of a new season that points us to You and reminds us we continue to be transformed through beholding Your glory. Thank You for the gift of the Holy Spirit who reveals more and more of Christ to us, taking us deeper in the truth and bringing joy and worship as we discover new facets of who You are.”

In researching this unusual blooming pattern of the Eastern Redbud, I learned it’s definitely out of the ordinary in our temperate zone! This characteristic is termed “cauliflory.” To learn more about this unusual trait, take a peek at my Interesting Finds page.

If you would like more in depth reading on the continuous process of our transformation, I recommend Transformation by Beholding (biblehub.com) by Alexander Maclaren D.D.